We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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