We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Randomize
