i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
