we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
