17 year olds will be the death of me.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
