I can tuck mytits in my pants
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just cropdusted the office
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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