3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
