I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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