New invention idea: vibrating tampons
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The beer is more important than you right now.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
