Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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