just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
