I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
