I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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