Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
this will be a night to untag.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize