I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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