I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize