Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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