He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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