I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
