forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
