Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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