You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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