I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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