Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
