so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
