why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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