you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
