We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just found puke in my bra..
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
