So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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