hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
