i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
