Soap is not a condiment
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
