The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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