I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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