ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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