remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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