Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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