I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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