You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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