I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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