Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
