Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
PANTIES FOUND
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