YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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