I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
