at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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