Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
