I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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