how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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