is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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