its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm always down for nudity.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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