My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
