it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
