I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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