my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
