It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
that is very illegal...i love you.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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