My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize