he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
