then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
